Question #13-61: Is it allowed to have excessive talking with a father-in-law?

Question:

Salam Aleikum,
I have a question about a fathers relationship with his son's wife.  Of course, the father is Mahram (prohibited) for his daughter-in-law.  Having said that, is it permissible for the father to be speaking excessively with her over the phone (having long conversations), excessive laughing and chatter?  Usually, women tend to speak more with women and so I ask if this type of talking together is normal/acceptable.  Could this type of relationship (the father has with his Son's wife) effect the Son's relationship with his wife?  Is it possible it may cause the Son to feel uncomfortable and wonder why they chat so much? Or is this relationship completely normal?

Jazak Allahu Khair

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, The All Merciful

Walikum assalam br.

I understand from what you have described that this kind of conversation between your father and your wife makes you feel uncomfortable. According to Islam, It is allowed for the wife to converse with her father-in-law the same was as she would converse with her own father; meaning in a respectful and honorable way. Conversations excessively open (inappropriate topics) or excessive laugh in privacy with the father-in-law are not proper for any Muslim woman.

 Here some facts we need to study together:

  • Allah Soub-hanahu- Watalla said in suratul-Ahzab(33-32): “If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease(evil desire for adultery, those who have sickness in their hearts, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner”.
  • The Prophet Salla Allahu Alihi wassalam said in authentic hadith:

((إن الله يبغض الفاحش المتفحش)[رواه ابن حبان5694]، وقال: (إن الله لا يحب كل فاحش متفحش, “Allah dislike every excessively speaking and even the one who loves it”.

Therefore, the relationship between the father-in-law (Mahram) and the wife should be in good manner, with full respect and not to be excessively.  Also, I must remind you that relationship or treatment between you and your parents should be with full respect as Allah commands us to be dutiful to them. As a result, in order to avoid any harsh feelings with your father, I think the best way to control this kind of relation is to advice your wife to eliminate these kinds of conversations.

May Allah make it easy for you and He knows best.

Shk. Mostafa

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